Transparency in the age of the internet

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Anyone who’s ever smitten by the internet and was caught by the blogging fever would know that multiply has been the most happenin’ place for bloggers, photo enthusiasts and eventually sellers-alike.

If I can remember correctly, I have started properly blogging as early as 2004. Properly being the operative word. I took a writing break in 2009 after getting my heart severely broken and dealt with my quarter-life crisis.  I resumed writing before 2010 ended and in a new blogging host, the page where you are now.

I consider myself lucky. 

Lucky because internet trolls weren’t accessible to the internet back then. I have learned very early when and when not to secure my posts, I’ve gained followers because they think I’m entertaining off and online. The most common feedback that I get is: 1) it’s too darn funny with visuals. 2) The way I write is engaging 3) It’s too fucking honest.

I don’t know. Logging into my old multiply account was like a secret sanctuary that I like to make public. It’s therapy for me. Writing in their [multiply] platform makes me honest. I’ve blogged about my early 20s angst, my failed relationships, the embarrassing reasons for break up, my thoughts that no one dared to ask, except that it’s mine and it’s my page. I remember one time, one of my bosses came up to me and said: “My wife reads you [your blog] and she was laughing and laughing.” I even have gotten to a point where a friend told me “Hey don’t write about me!”

Flattering? Yes. Scary? Yes.

Because I've also reached a point where I was just listening to some random girly relationship rant from one of my not-really-friends-but-just-casual-colleagues during an after-office cocktail session when she blurted out and quoted me on my experience that I blogged about before. Being out in the open really makes strangers accessible to the innermost you.

Honestly I got lucky. Long before the whole of the internet troll community can probably make fun of my silly sentiments as a single, career-driven, aspiring-to-be-Carrie-Bradshaw-in-a-corporate-world, I got out before online-trolling was in.  So when I heard the news about Multiply shutting down, I am not sure if I wanted to save my posts.

Sure, it was well loved that up until two years ago, I still get messages that they open their multiply account to read my posts because it was just too naive and funny.  I know I still have forbidden pictures that I kept in that site because it was for my personal consumption and to be used for future blackmails (read: stag/bachelor party presentations and weddings).

But I have self-learned early about responsible blogging. I rarely have negative posts, because there’s too much negativity in facebook alone. Negativity is not my forte, I’d like to leave that to others. I’d rather be informative about the most random things.

But still, I do miss having the anonymity of just pouring my heart out like I’m writing a diary. Everyone likes an inside dirt now and then, right? In fact, I am very sure that this blog would gain more popularity if the stories/lessons that I learned, that I tell my friends in person are the same ones that I write in my blog.  Especially those who probably have known me from a far knows that I had some pretty controversial phases in my single life.

But no. Those stories are reserved for friends (which I am very thankful of, because I seem to have a stable and consistent support group and real, offline friends that I hang out with on a regular basis). I’d rather hear their frank comments and facial reactions rather than some “thumbs up” or a “virtual hug”.

I know I still have 1 week and two days before multiply shuts down. I'm still thinking if I want to save those files and blog posts. Because honestly, something inside me tells me there's really no point in saving what I've written because I am not going to look back.

I guess we'll see.