[Project FeeTrail April 2013]: Gratitude in lieu of a Wish

They say when it's your first time at a church, make sure to pray your 7 (or 9?) wishes for it will come true. I did that when I visited 7 churches before holy week and now it's the first time I get to visit the church of Pila, Laguna. I was covering for my sister's wedding gig event, but when I first had my moment to breathe a prayer, I did not wish for anything but said thank you to God. The day before the event, I had my make or break exam and it was no easy feat.

It took 3 hours for the deliberation, the comments were tough, I really thought I would be recommended to try again. After all, the exam was expedited and I chickened out and planned it on the next semester. Then I got shoved to do it way earlier. Somehow, I'm glad I did it.

I was asked to step out of the room for my three advisers to deliberate whether they should pass or recommend me to try again, and I was already saying my Hail Marys. This is why I can never join those reality show contests with crucial decisions being made on National Television. It really is too nerve wracking for me.

This year, I constantly prayed for calmness and I got it. While I was waiting for the results, I kept on consoling myself that if it did not turn out the way I wish it would be, it's the journey and not the destination and what's important is I will not give up.

But then, I passed, and I wish I could say I am over the moon, but I was just pretty calm and extremely thankful that I passed. There's something in me that did not make me swoon nor twitter blast something out of a giddy moment. I was just deeply humbled and thankful. I have a feeling that maybe, after experiencing death in the family, nothing can really top the level of happiness that I felt before. I used to be over the top happy, with eyes literally sparkling (like those of diamonds, says an ex-boyfriend, chos), and with a can't-shut-the-F-up smile. This major accomplishment is something that is supposed to level me up, but it humbled me down. That is why I dedicate my thesis to my late father and my inay (mother).

My Masteral Degree down to the process of me with my MS Thesis is a concrete proof of WHEN it's meant to be, it WILL be. I thought I would graduate in 2012, but it turned out I will be facing something bigger last year, bigger than my Masteral Degree that it just had to come first.

So now, I'm just really thankful. :)