OFF

I sit in the corner office tapping my fingers on the table.

I really do not know what else to write; in fact I don’t seem to have my brain tonight to write with, knowing that you are here.

It’s just like Janet Jackson’s song:

“I heard from a friend today and she said you were in town, suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind…”

My phone’s been ringing for quite some time now. It’s your 25^th call since, let’s say an hour ago.

You just don’t know when to give up do you?

Normally, my drafts would’ve been finished by half past three. I would probably be enjoying a nice cold slushy with a colleague. But today is totally different.

You are here. We are breathing the same air.

You keep asking me in your text messages where am I and attempting to pick me up for coffee.Like last time, we had coffee. Do you remember?

We had a great time over coffee.

Actually the coffee in that shop sucks because it was hardly recognized by my taste buds, but something about sitting right in front you that made it taste so sweet.

Actually there isn’t much to talk about. We didn’t have much to talk about during that time.  I was just enjoying your presence in front of me like how an awkward teenage in love behaves.

My phone. It’s ringing again.

“Dude? Aren’t you going to take that call?” Nathaniel asks me. Nat is in graphics division and currently works during the late hours.

“Sorry Nat.”

“If you want to get rid of the guy, remember there is an off button.”

He’s right. There is an off button.

I can’t always be your welcoming committee. I can’t always be your security blanket; you shock absorber, your so-called best friend.Best friends don’t make their friends cry themselves to sleep.

There goes your 27^th call again. Nat winks at me.

You’ve had enough of my past already and I am in whole new light now, not to mention I now have my own turf. I will not allow you to trespass and get into my system once again. I finally reached for my phone and pressed the red button.

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OFF

Such a small gesture and step but makes a big difference. I will no longer complain about having been treated unfairly. I will no longer have sleepless nights asking why and I will no longer have to deal with your empty promises and will no longer give you permission to get my hopes up.

I realized that half of the painful events are with my permission and I have allowed you to mess with my head.

Not anymore.