Sweetest Keyboard

Saw this on Tumblr today and if this was mine....

Source: HERE

... never gonna blog on my lappy again. :)

Jack & Jill Movie Trailer

I can't wait for this one to come out in November!

Pandora's Box

Image Source

I'd like to keep on reminiscing a conversation that I had back then with my best friend:

Me: I love him, I want him, I wish I could really have him...

Bff: Would you rather be in her place?

*Thinks really hard...*

Me: Hell, No.

There is a price to pay for knowing too much.

Baby Steps for the Broken Heart

It has been quite a few weeks when I received something in the mail about a guy friend who recently broke up with his girlfriend of four years. He was asking how did I recover from a break up. Like I’m the expert.

But really, not long ago I experienced what seems to be the most painful break up of my life. Of course, the first one that I had hurt so badly but this one is different. I’ve had boyfriends in the past but this one has shaken me to the core. I really don’t know if it comes with age, but I think the younger you are, the more strength you have to take on these emotional things but as you get older, heartbreaks gets the best of you.

Heart breaks make or break you. It’s always either you get stronger and cynical, or you remain hopeful but inevitably stupid but hey, there really is no formula how to get over a break up. Like the cliché it has always been different strokes for different folks.

As I have mentioned earlier, not long ago I got my heart broken and it did hurt so bad. So bad that I had to move heaven and earth to change my life. I know it is expensive to overhaul your life every time your heart gets broken, I mean not everyone can take a chance and afford to travel to three countries like Liz Gilbert did in her personal memoir, Eat, Pray, Love or change apartments like what I did with mine. But I have come up with do-able baby steps to get your butt moving and from leaving that pint of ice cream alone and get moving.

So,M- This post is dedicated to you.

Okay, here we are. After the usual stage of crying your eyes out, staring at the ceiling, being in denial and getting drunk, at the end of the day you literally have to do something.

Change at least something.

     Do not do something drastic like shaving your head or cutting your hair. There’s 50% chance that you’re going to regret that later.

     Change at least something, even as simple as changing your routine in getting to work and going home. Explore a new route, enroll in a class, take up a sport, whatever it is, change something and stick to it for the meantime. In my case, I only live 5 minutes away from my office building but I stayed with a friend for a week and took an hour commute just for the sake of changing things.

Replicate/Substitute your daily lovers’ routine.

     

Keeping yourself busy is really a cliché, but it works, but I really am tired of hearing it from people. You cannot just get busy when you feel like your world has just been torn apart and sometimes it just makes you stare off to space. In my case, certain hours of the day needs to be replicated. For example, if every 2 in the afternoon you get to spend time together, create a new habit for 21 days straight ( I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to create a new habit) and put it in there. Make sure you are doing something new (the more physically exhausting, the better) and before you know it, your old lovers’ routine has been replicated.

Avoid Silence and failed relationship over analysis.

     

Being alone in silence – unless you’re too drunk- makes you think  and go over things one more time. Create a playlist of your broken hearted phase. In my case I created a playlist in my ipod about songs about breaking up but not wanting to get back with him. I got busy with iTunes and searching for different songs on the internet and it did help me and the whole Best Breakup songs playlist was on repeat mode in my iPod for several weeks.

     

When tempted to think about the failed relationship, do something physical such as taking out the garbage, doing your laundry, arranging your CDs, surf the internet, arrange your shoes and closet, fix your laptop or whatever. Replicate it with something that you can do with your hands just so you can temporarily take the things off your mind for a little bit (because chances are, you’ll be doing the thinking again and every little bit of distraction from thinking about the break up counts).

Make sure to be with friends( with patience as good as a saint).

     Make sure to have at least two trusted friends who know your story and have seen you while you were in your relationship. They are the best mirrors. Do not go around venting out at anyone familiar you know because chances you are, you tend to leave out some parts of the story and in reality, even if we are deeply in denial as of the moment, we just know want an affirmation from somebody else.

     

Do not talk to his/her friends about your relationship. It’s like asking your opponent how to beat them at something. They will not rat out on their friends either. Sure, they will be polite and side with you on certain points, but trust me. They do not want to get involved in you and your ex’s business.

     

Be careful with whose advice you buy, like Baz Luhrmann’s Sunscreen song. Avoid negative people because the last thing you need is to be surrounded by miserable people who loves company. Surround yourself with positive people because like negative people, they can affect and influence you too and it’s better to be influenced by positive people because the last thing you need is a negativity amplifier.

    

Set an internal deadline for how long you want to sulk and rant. Do not abuse your friends’ patience and take advantage of their listening ears. At the end of the day, it is your own personal battle and not theirs. Bottom line is, you have to help yourself because if not, nobody can.

Set a goal to make a number of friends but do not find a rebound.

    

When we are in a relationship for so long, we tend to really live in that comfort zone that we do not care anymore about making new friends. Keep in mind that this new phase, your goal is to make new friends and not find a rebound. (Try really hard not to, even when it is tempting.) If you’ve gotten off a 12 year relationship, please do not jump the gun and marry the next thing that moves. Please give enough time to get to know the person because if you don’t, it’ll be unfair for that person to pay for your hang ups. And you’ll regret later (even if you don’t admit or secretly admit it) you will tell yourself that you should have waited.

  

   If you’re not the friendly type, try talking to strangers. It can be very liberating for the introverts. You don’t have to be really shy about it because they don’t know you anyway. It can be as simple as asking for directions (even if you already know) or asking for a recommendation from a waiter/waitress at a restaurant while looking for something to order. Two words: Small talk.

Finally Stop Counting.

Do not count and take note in your personal calendar how long will it take you to get over, because as long as you keep counting, subconsciously you are still thinking about your ex and how hurt you are. It’s like taking care of a wound and preserving it.

Whether you like it or not, you will move on. The process of who moves on first depends on your choice of how fast you can accept and let go. I used to really keep on tracking the days that I am thinking about my ex and it seemed to prolong the so-called getting over phase, but when I finally surrendered, I got over fast before I even know and realize it.

Before I end this post, I would like to share something my cousin and I talked about when it comes to taking a stand and letting go of someone whom we crazily love but is bad for us. I asked how come she can make such strong decisions about letting go and I wanted to become like her as well. I asked how she did it. She shared:

“It’s not about being strong, it’s about finally reaching a point in your life that you know deep down that you’ve had enough and that alone will give you the jolt that you need to let go and move on.”

To Rachels and Alices

Rachel Danburry tried to ignore her husband’s infidelities. She told herself he was simply possessed of extraordinary charm, but when he has an affair a woman called Candice Carter, a former starlet for Paramount and owner of the town theatre, she could no longer pretend she didn’t know what was going on.Rachel sought solace, and revenge, in the arms of Edward Rutherford, a neighbor who had always been pleasant, had always been willing to stop for a chat, and until Rachel set out to – successfully-seduce him, nothing more.But Rachel and Edward fell in love, and eventually Rachel had to make a choice between a love that was more meaningful than anything she had ever known, and her husband.She chose her husband.And for the rest of her life Rachel learned to turn a blind eye. She learned to switch off the light in her bedroom, trying not to think of the fact that he husband was not lying beside her, trying not to think about where he was or who he might be with.

-excerpt from the Prologue of Jane Green’s Spellbound (UK Version) / To Have and to Hold (US Version)

There must be a reason why I have that book, both versions by Author Jane Green.

There must be reason why I bought the book in 2009 but have never read it until summer of 2011.

There must be a reason why I am out of town when I finally got the time and chance to read it, and the resort that I stayed in with a friend (who was in a similar state as Rachel’s) does not have TV or internet connection. Just an intermittent cellular phone signal. I get it now.

Please be informed that this is not a book review and there are no spoiler alerts. Although I recommend buying the book, it cannot be understood fully by many, only those who have worn Rachel’s shoes.

Jane Green’s Spellbound is about the wife Alice and her philandering husband Joe, who’s got a mistress at work named Josie. Alice and Joe moved in to the house where Rachel Danburry used to live with her philandering husband as well and the house was said to have a curse that whoever lives there, the couple breaks up. It just so happen that Alice and Joe moved in that same house.

I would like to cite something from the book about Joe:

“Occasionally Joe feels guilty about the women he sleeps with, but not so guilty as to stop, and anyway they have no bearing on in his relationship with Josie. As long as she doesn’t know, how can it possibly hurt her, for Joe would never want to hurt Josie (the mistress who caused the breakup of his marriage -ed), just as he never wanted to hurt Alice (his first wife -ed).”-   (Green,2003, p. 437, Spellbound)

And to understand the “Joes” in the world is infuriating. They have an addiction, a sickness that will not be cured by just one Josie. 


I admire the strength and sacrifice of those “Rachels” who can turn a blind eye and pretend like nothing is wrong because once a Joe, always a Joe. Those who know that “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” but chose to try to forget and stick around anyway. Never mind if the person lying next to them in the other side of the bed is not really the person they thought they were. Never mind if they really cannot penetrate and knows what goes on in the mind of their own Joes. Never mind if they watch him walk around spaced out. Never mind if they cannot conquer and control their Joe’s mind about who and what he really is thinking about.

But most of all, I admire the “Alices” I know. Those who are brave enough to stand up for their own good, who chose not to be used, who made decisions that are fair for themselves and not out of anger, those who chose to be happy, who chose to be strong.

And to the “Alice” that I know that shared a hand-me-down advice from a pastor who gave her this advice:

“The only problems that you have are the things that you can control. The thing/people/events that you have no control of means that they are not your problem.” 

Dear Another “Alice”,

“Joe” is not your problem because you cannot control him and what he does behind your back. Your problem is how and what you chose to deal with and how you’re going to put up with him.

Your friend in the book,

“Emily”

Best Thing I NEVER Had

You know how sometimes we are caught up in between of "Moved On" and "Starting Over"? I'm a little caught up in between these days and I've been looking for that perfect song for the moment. Then I received a message asking me to check this out. I already have Beyonce's 4 in my iPod buy Kylie's Aphrodite album is  ruling as of the moment but something about this song makes me go back to Queen B.


The video and Lyrics hit home so much that it deserves it's own airtime post.


P.S.
Watch the video and see just how happy Beyonce's eyes are in this video.

What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)

There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now
So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
Baby good lookin' out
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
I said, you turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'll never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby I bet sucks to be you right now

I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life

Thank God I found the good in goodbye
I used to want you so bad
I'm so through it that
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I will always be the, best thing you never had.
Best thing you never had!
I used to want you so bad
I'm so through it that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh I will never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby, I bet it sucks to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now

P.S.
Thanks sis for recommending the song! :)

Not Tempting Island

I'd like to start this of by saying that when they said it was a remake, they weren't kidding. 

Temptation Island, a Joey Gosiengfiao  film in the 80's that starred four beauty queens; 1975 Mutya ng Pilipinas Miss Photogenic, Azenith Briones, 1978 Binibing Pilipinas - Universe Jennifer Cortez, Miss Maja Pilipinas 1977 Bambi Arambulo and Miss Magnolia 1979 Ist Runner Up Dina Bonnevie. The film is about a group of  finalists of a beauty  stranded in an island without food, water and shelter. ( Source: Here) 

We saw this movie last night and I had the same feeling when I went inside the movie house before and after the movie. This was the first local movie that I have seen this year. 

It was more like this:

Image Source

When it should've been properly like this: 

Image Source

If I'm really curious about the movie, I should have waited for it to be shown in PBO or Cinema one or any Sunday Late Night movie nights, but not in the movie theater.

Some good points though:

• Rufa Mae Quinto provided good comic relief ( Thank God and good move to producers and Casting Agents!) - this should've been her show.
• Twas a good thing they showed the "before" and "after" during the credits.
• Nice outfits for the ladies.
• Nice copy of the characters from the original version ( like the party girl  in afro).

I just didn't understand why the movie is worth to have a "remake'. We have so many talented young writers with so many new ideas fit for the generation today.

Bridesmaids

I'm excited to see this.

My sister downloaded this and I heard this movie  from Franco when he returned from the States. We were having dinner and he said something like "it's hilarious, like girl version of hangover" and that's when I knew I just have to see it.

Anyway, I'm already checking the schedule of the local cinemas around and I am excited that this is scheduled up for the next batch!

Yey! And week after next, Cameron Diaz's Bad Teacher is coming right up, which Paulie and I had been waiting to see since... March of this year? (Previous post about Bad Teacher here)

Anyway, I'll be seeing this with my friends from GS before the hell months come up. I hope the movie is as promising as the reviews and word-of-mouth recommendations that I keep hearing.