"Based from Rick Davies and Jess Dart’s Monitoring and
Evaluation Technique that we took up in class, what can you say is the Most
Significant Change that happened to you?" One of my panel adviser and a well-respected professor in Development Management asked.
I nearly choked. There is no way that I am going to let
my voice crack. There is no way that I am going to allow what happened to me
two years ago.
July 2010 – I was asked in class my opinion about “Quitting
your job takes a lot of guts”. I had just recently resigned and moved back home
and slowly realizing what Quarter-life crisis is when that question was thrown
at me and I was caught off guard. In front of the whole class and I didn’t have
any friends back then.
I nearly choked. My voice cracked and my professor got
alarmed she must have thought I will start to cry. I was heartbroken when I
left the city. Yes, I did quit the job that I am literally dragging my self
into but at the same time, my applications to a different industry, the one
that I really wanted ever since, was taking it’s sweet time in getting back to
me. Then there was Graduate School who welcomed me with open arms.
So I moved back to UPLB. Two months after I was enrolled,
the job called and wanted me to go back to the city for an interview. I can
remember my self sitting in front of White Hat Frozen Yogurt stand in Alabang
Town Center with my parents infront of me. I had to make a decision right then
and there.
If I go to the interview and get qualified, I will leave
Graduate School Pronto.
If I don’t, I will just have to patiently wait for life
to unfold it’s purpose how it managed to pull me into moving me back home.
I am never comfortable with uncertainties and I always
have this default fear of the future. But somehow, at that moment, I just went
with my gut feel.
“I’m sorry but I will have to pass because I enrolled my
self full time in UP Graduate School.”
“Okay, we will just have to put you in our reserved list
just in case you decide to re-apply in the future.”
“Thank you very much, sir”
I hung up the phone and told my parents: “This whole
graduate school better be worth it.”
And you know what? It was.
Because if I went for the job, I wouldn’t have the chance
to met such good people, discover my self, get a better understanding, learn to
forgive, be patient and be accepting. I did learn to be objective even if
things will not go for my favor, learn to see things from different lenses. I
felt my brain literally expanded. That’s why I always say I owe so much to
Development Communication, not just because of the actual classes, but it’s the
people and experience that I met when I decided to take up the degree.
And if I took that job, then I wouldn’t have the chance
to spend the remaining last 2 years of my father’s life with him.
So just to give a simple and short answer what was the
Most Significant Change that happened in my life? I learned to live my
realities and faced my fears. I honestly learned and felt and appreciate what it feels like to be grounded. (Of course,
that’s not the answer that I gave to my professor, but it’s something along
those lines.)
I got a pedicure 3 days before my final graduate school presentation because I am all set to take my Oral Graduate Comprehensive Exam and propose my MS Thesis to my committee, in my peep-toe, nude-colored, high heeled wedge shoes that will definitely, psychologically level up my confidence that I badly needed for that day.
I've always believed in the power of stilettos and high heeled shoes and I am actually proud that I can run in them. It gives women such power that when they strut, they can take anything the world can throw at them. But as I was headed out to the door at 6 in the morning, I changed my mind and wore my cheap ballet flats instead.
I just feel that it made me feel closer to the ground.
P.S.
Sorry I just couldn't help but post this tweet from my friend. I passed the exam on the day of his 26th Birthday! :)
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| Thank you Frankie J.! |
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