Show me someone who thinks writing is easy and I’ll show you
someone who’s never really been passionate about writing.
One of the MAIN reasons I went back to blogging is because I
started my thesis season. I don’t think anyone could understand the pain of
staring at a blank screen wishing for ideas to come.
I type words. Then I delete. I try again. Then I hit delete.
My hands are getting pretty tired of doing the same thing. I
need my hands to work with me, it’s just that I don’t have anything good to
write when I am under time pressure as of that moment. It doesn’t help that” 1)
I am a mood writer 2) I am constrained to write academically. 3) I must write
with a purpose of sounding very academical.
I started blogging again to get my self psyched in writing
again, after taking a break in 2009.
I recently found out that there’s MS in Creative Writing in UP
Diliman, up until now I am still thinking how did I find my self in Development
Communication and minored in Development Management when my background was more
of the Arts (Mass Communication) and my work experience had nothing to do with
the 3rd world countries, except that we were highly outsourced.
Had I been in UP Diliman, these are the two things that I
think I am sure of:
1)
I’m definitely living with my girlfriends who
are my “breath of fresh air”.
2)
I have the privacy of my own room in the 3BR
townhouse we’ll be sharing. ( I still think of what might have beens, knowing
that “my room” there is still waiting for me)
3)
If I am in my thesis season, I’m probably zoned
out and my creative juice and imagination is working non-stop.
4)
I’m definitely going to bleed for my paper to be published. (Regardless if it’s a
requirement)
5)
I have the perks of resetting my life and doing
my own thing during my writing down time.
Don’t get me wrong. I will be forever grateful to the DevCom
community who welcomed me with open arms. I can still remember the look on my
face when I got my acceptance letter tagging me as a regular student, and that
I can enroll right away. Quitting my job has never been this easy, even if I
know that I will have to give up my hard-earned freedom. Graduate School is something that I will
never regret.
But man, It sometimes take a toll on me. It is only in
Graduate School that I’ve experience back pains due to staring too much on the
computer, reading hell lot of jargon ( English naman to, at naging English
Trainer pa ako but why the hell I couldn’t understand what this sentence
means?!). And yes, I came to a point na I was running on high fever while
presenting a paper. My mind gets more exercise than my body. If all this
thinking makes one fit, eh super fit na ako to join Survivor Philippines!
It’s only in Graduate School that I really matured (feeling
ko) and started to really be grounded and deeply humbled. Only in Graduate
School that I learned to give difficult people credit and met such really good
friends that I know I will have forever.
Only in Grad School that I met friends that I’ve known for less than a year but
it felt like we have known each other forever. It’s only in grad school din
that I really have watched how people come and go, and at the end of the day,
it’s not a workplace fighting for promotion, it’s not undergraduate studies
competing for a LAUDE position, because the hardest battle is really the one
with your self.
I’m down to my last 7 units of my MS degree this semester,
and I don’t know if I made a wrong move by working while studying, but I’m
really crossing my fingers to pull everything through. It’s so hard to find that Thesis-Writing
Vibe. Like right now, I’m supposed to be working on my thesis but little did I
know all this typing have made a whole new blog entry. I don’t know how people do it, but if you
happen to be one of those Amazing Grad School People who can multi-task work,
family and thesis/dissertation, without losing your sense of balance, please
let me know how.
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