That one thing

I don't really have a bucket list, to be honest. I just have "a list".

I realized that I am in my late twenties and I try to use this term as much as possible because, let's face it, I am now about to turn to thirty soon. I didn't really find it so scary, until, well, people my age started making such big deal about it.

I did have a list, like in my twenties. I wanted to do this, do that, I pretty much did majority of those things but most of them were pretty safe. I think the scariest thing I did, was... (hold on to your horses)...was fell madly, crazily, drunk in love. So stupid so scary, that if I would be asked to throw my independent life in the city, migrate, and be domesticated, I'll do it!

But life has other plans for me. I realized that since 2005, I've been madly doodling that I wanted to go back to school... and little did I know, I had quarter-life crisis then... ta-dah! I'm in Graduate School.

I remember before moving back that I did try so hard to remain in the city. I applied for a day job, in one of the industry that I am so passionate about. I didn't get a call during my allotted time frame, then one day, I got a call from them asking to report for work but I had to decline right then and there because I have decided to pursue graduate school as a full time student. I remember saying, (after hanging up):

 "This better be worth it."

And it was. Because last year was a tough one because I have lost a parent and it made me re-think my life. I've been watching my life diligently that this year I have decided I'm going to get both a spiritual and financial advisers and got them both in one month. By this time and age I have realized that majority of what my life turned out was at one point or another, what I have wanted. A lot of people may disagree with me, but there are so many things I am embarrassed to share/blog because it doesn't fit/conform to what society expects from someone like me. I am so not born out of a cookie cutter.

Few days ago, I heard a story of someone's life who so looks good on the outside, but she feels so unhappy (like on a crying level!) on the inside. ( It's Facebook's fault!) A lot of people wanted to have what she has but at the end of the day, it really boils down to what makes us happy. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, guys.

I found my self agreeing and making unsolicited comments like : " I feel for her, in fact, I still have that feeling of what my career would be had it been...."

Then I came across this from Mark Twain:

I told you I don't really have a bucket list, but even though I am shit scared, I've always wanted to know what it feels like to do what Elizabeth Gilbert did.

To travel solo.