28 things I learned before my birthday

I've been updating this list in preparation for the auto-publishing feature of blogspot. I've been trying to list down the top 28 lessons I learned but out of so many (and so private) so I just chose the ones that I always remember the most.


I really ransacked my brain for this and chose the 28 memorable lessons that I learned. As much as I would like to share the details to make it more "understandable"... we'll, I'd still like to keep my privacy.

Source

 (1)Everyone comes with their own manual.

Just because someone got married at 25 it doesn’t mean we would all be going down the same road. And just because a certain “formula” worked for others, it doesn’t mean it will work for me. While it's tacky to steal someone else's thunder/spotlight, if it's not for you, it will never be yours. I had someone who traced my footsteps but it never worked for them because it's not really who they are.

(2)I am a lucky recipient of “Pay it Forward”.

I will be forever thankful that I’ve been a recipient of Pay it Forward so therefore I will vow to do the same. Every favor that I’ll get I’ll pay it forward to three or more people.

(3)Forgiveness is actually letting yourself off the hook.

It took me a while to understand what this is about until I was told that if I don’t forgive someone, I will still be connected to that same person. And in order for me to be disconnected, I forgave someone/people (who is not even asking for forgiveness)  not to let the person off the hook, but just so that the person will no longer be connected to me. Sometimes you need to be the bigger person to make a grand gesture to fix things and be mature enough to make those decision not because you want to get involved with each other again but to separate peacefully.

(4)Be kind because you don’t know if the other person is fighting a harder battle.

I had this bad feeling towards a person who talked behind my back but little did I know that she was fighting a huge and harder battle compared to my own.

(5)There are not only financially, but emotionally abusive people.

When they wanted someone to listen, you gave your ear. When they got your ear, they want your whole head. When they got your head, they asked for your hand, and when you gave your hand, they still requested for your arm. It’s like until they get your upper limbs (and who knows).  Whatever you do, it’s not enough. I had to put a stop to being emotionally abused. I was told I get emotionally attached and involved with my friends' lives that there are times that I've been in the ring with them fighting with them in their battle. I got abused because in the long run, these people will not see which point is enough. I have accepted that there are givers and there are takers. 

(6)Do not count your eggs...yet.

I have seen two major events this year who counted their eggs too early (one is Boxer Marquez).  I think we all know what went on that road. I was deeply humbled by what I have seen.

(7)It’s the lifestyle that you live.

I figured out that changing lifestyles is doable. I changed my lifestyle from taking cabs to walking, from heels to flipflops and flats. From going out to staying in, from bars to intimate house parties. I am making less of what I used to make before but I've never been happier.

(8)There are really, genuinely good people.

At first, I really cannot believe this one. You just have to know where to look. And in order for you to have really good friends, you have to be one. And it is never too late to make new friends. I am very thankful for these good people who have kept me grounded.

(9)Misery loves company.

This sounds like a cliche but those who appear to be too available and too visibly close for comfort are actually the ones in need (of attention).

(10) The truth will always come out. True colors will eventually show.

This is actually one of the most important highlight that I've learned hardly a week before my birthday. I learned that I do not have bad judgment and that I am only human. But the biggest surprise I got was someone finally felt exactly what it is like to walk in my shoes and see things from where I am standing.

(11)Humility.

I have such high respect for those successful people who remain humble. I am inspired to keep my self grounded.

(12)Be careful whose advice you buy.

I have not really found role model for me, but I just take advice from wise people that I look up to. I do get unsolicited advice, and I have admit, I did ask for advice from unreliable sources just to hear and see what they have to say, but at the end of the day, I have learned to listen to those who really "brought it". While I don't really have a role model, I have a model for "Don't".

(13)Weed out toxic people. (in my case, Emotional Vampires)

How do you really determine these “toxic people”. When they suck the energy& positivity out of you. Almost.Every.Single.Time. (Sometimes without them knowing it) I rummaged through my list and slowly weeded out some. I did not really burn bridges but regardless of how short or how long you’ve been together, there are some people in our lives that even though it seems painful, you really have to let go and you know you will not regret it. It’s better to cut things now than be strung along with all the negativity, drama and mishap all for the sake of consideration of the amount of time invested through the years. There are some people/friends who are worth letting go. People not only change, they also get tired. Friendship, is also a relationship. It takes a lot of work. Like any other relationship, they tend to break up as well. Someone once told me that you will know who your true friends are by the time you reach 30 and you will be surprised to see that they are only a handful. Friendship also needs an upgrade. You need to grow up and mature together, even the petty things that tests your friendship should no longer be in the same line with the petty things you fought about years ago.

(14)Being polite will get you what you want.

I have not been known for being the polite person but when I was told about this and unconsciously have incorporated this in my personality...it did work. Being polite have changed the way I am treated from jeepney drivers down to the big bosses. Sometimes it's really the way you ask.

(15)Keep a positivity Diary.

I’m not exactly known for being positive and optimistic but once I got hold of being optimistic, I vowed to never let it go. Everyday I keep a diary where I list everything that I am thankful of for that day and it works.

(16)It always appear that the grass is greener on the other side.

But little did we know what really goes on with the entire garden. The ultimate competition is not really who is skinnier, wealthier, prettier but it's whoever finds his/her genuine passion and happiness.

(17)Just because someone are frank, tactless and likes to tell the truth, it doesn’t mean they can handle their own truth.

And I learned this the hard way. Not all people can appreciate honesty and sometimes it is better to just wait for them to figure it out and find it out for themselves. Even if it means allowing them to look stupid. Also you have to accept that there are some people, no matter how you explain in the most logical and simple way, they will never figure it out for themselves. 

(18)Quarter-life crisis.

I wish someone could’ve told me that there is a thing called Quarter-life crisis. It’s the phase in your mid-twenties where you feel trapped with what you want to do with your life and long to go back to school. You feel like everyone is moving on except you and you start to hate your job, etc. I cannot offer an advice how to get out of it, because I just got out of the phase and starting all over again. Quarter-life crisis is a crucial stage, but if you have felt this in your mid twenties and you don't have mouths to feed, consider yourself lucky. Quarter-life crisis, when seen in a positive perspective, is actually a breather to take time off and figure out who you and what you really want.

(19)I am in love with the idea of being in love.

I love being in love but it doesn’t always mean that I am in love. I feel genuinely happy to those who got hitched, engaged, just got into a relationship because I admire their guts on taking such risk.

(20)Too much of Social Networking Sites can sometimes be bad for you.

Studies show (and yes I read and studied them) that the majority of those who spends too much time on social networking sites have low self-esteem and cases of depression. Social Networking sites give people a chance to create their own reality that’s why love stories are perfect, everyone supports a fighter, the weak suddenly has something to say and cyberbullying accumulates.  So if you are feeling depressed, step away from the computer and go to a real person. It’s never a good idea to wash your dirty laundry online.

(21)What is bound to happen will happen.

You can actually end up upsetting someone or getting upset by someone even without any effort your part, without lifting a finger! It may be in a form of phone call or a surprise visit. If you’re bound to have a fall out, there might be some delay but it will definitely happen. If you're bound to be together, no year or 12 years can really set you apart.

(22)Accept that even the most treasured people in your life can be ungrateful for everything you have ever done for them. 

One flaw can blow up a huge mess, disregarding everything that you have ever done for them with and without their knowledge. I learned to make emotional space and allowance for these incidents and learned to detach myself from getting upset. Acceptance really do the wonders because it can take a huge load of disappointment of your shoulders. We never lose by giving, we lose by holding back. If you have so much to give, consider yourself lucky.

(23)“Hindi Hagip ng Utak”

Means there are educated people without common courtesy, good judgment and common sense, despite their good background. It’s a matter of how they were brought up and what they believe is right. Some people don't know what is inappropriate given a certain scenario. 

(24)Time is the master.

Not only time heals all wounds, but you can be with the perfect person at this very moment but when you're not ready...you are not ready. If it’s not yet time, it will not happen.

(25)Satisfy your intellectual self.

Because when you do, everything else is mundane. You don’t really need that much gadget, that much shoes, that much make up and so on. You don’t really need to be seen in this place... and so on.

(26)I made peace with my self and found balance.

This year I have seen a what I call "so beautiful and so sad". I used to be so insecure about myself before but this sounds very cliche-y, once I have accepted my self and embraced my limitations, I found peace. 

(27)The Law of Attraction.

Visualize what you want and you will get it. When I was 20 years old, I envisioned my self in a corporate world, attending meetings with the big bosses, shopping for shoes, living a fabulous social life and having my own apartment and living alone then pursuing graduate school. And I did and had all that by the time I am 26.

(28)You always have the option.

I have the option to open Pandora’s Box or Not. With one click I could get upset...or not. It is always important to always decide today what you want to happen. I want to be happy, I will have a good day, and by declaring this before the day starts, the Universe will work it’s way around with what you want and you will have a good day like what you ordered. And it did work for me.

Source

My 2010 year was all about doing a life-over haul. I was wondering what I did with my life this year and I asked a close friend of mine and she said:

What you did, it is called cleansing.

And I did, from my closet, to my eating habits and vices... and down to friends. I have to go put back my running shoes on because there are more roads to come.