Remembering the first leap

I remember the story of my mother that when I was young, I was singing using the microphone and I stumbled and got knocked down. I got up crying and my mom asked:

"Sinong maganda? (Who's pretty) she asked, trying to distract me from the pain of an earned bump on my head.

"Kitin" (My childhood nickname) I answered in between sobs.

When I was in third grade, I auditioned for the school choir. I think I was the 10th person to sing Disney's A whole new world, because of the then recent Alladin movie ( Imagine, recent?! ).The choir teacher said she's now sleepy because I am the 10th among the many others who sang the same exact song.

I still continued to sing: "... A whole new world, a new fantastic point of viewww....."

I got in.

When I was in 3rd grade. I competed and sang during a singing contest in our small community. I went there and sang acapella. I lost to an Ate who sang Isang linggong pag-ibig. I didn't care, I just sang. Then, one of the sponsors, asked me to approach him. Even though I didn't win, he gave me one hundred pesos.

I remembered when I had my first "real-life" audition. I was told that there's this teaching/training demo for product trainers and I showed up with the rest of my contemporaries ,who were prepared with power point presentations and stuff and I didn't have one. I spontaneously grabbed the white board outside, borrowed a white board marker from one of the judges/senior trainers, erased the writing on the board as I greeted my audience.

I spoke about the social networking site, Friendster. They gave me look, perhaps "this-is-new", quizzical look. Because most of them demonstrated their account products and technical stuff and it seems silly that I spoke of selling the idea of why one should sign up for Friendster.I got asked: "I don't have any friends, why would I need Friendster?"

I still remember what I answered. I left them chuckling. I said my thank you's, returned the borrowed white board marker and went out of the room and headed straight to the ladies' room and broke down. I cried. Silently. Inside the ladies room while the my back is pressed against the wall and slowly moving towards the floor. Yep, just like the movies.

I cried because I got scared the entire time then I sucked it up and went back to my station and started taking calls again.

Two weeks later, I got the job.

That was my first actual adult life leap. I knew I will eventually quit the BPO industry but I do not want to resign as an agent. So I traveled different departments, eventually I went to Quality Assurance (QA) then lastly under Junior Management level in Operations. It was my first leap of faith, first door of so many experiences.

Recently, I was reminded of the importance of taking the leap of faith. I was young and unafraid to fail, and as we get older we became extra cautious with taking the next leap. Isn't it funny that now that just when we have more experience, learned lessons and hopefully wiser...now we have a hard time taking leaps of faith?

I guess my question is, (and because I'm also trying to track mine with this ) when did we start being afraid?

If you have figured out yours, let me know. If you don't have one, then good for you.