To Rachels and Alices

Rachel Danburry tried to ignore her husband’s infidelities. She told herself he was simply possessed of extraordinary charm, but when he has an affair a woman called Candice Carter, a former starlet for Paramount and owner of the town theatre, she could no longer pretend she didn’t know what was going on.Rachel sought solace, and revenge, in the arms of Edward Rutherford, a neighbor who had always been pleasant, had always been willing to stop for a chat, and until Rachel set out to – successfully-seduce him, nothing more.But Rachel and Edward fell in love, and eventually Rachel had to make a choice between a love that was more meaningful than anything she had ever known, and her husband.She chose her husband.And for the rest of her life Rachel learned to turn a blind eye. She learned to switch off the light in her bedroom, trying not to think of the fact that he husband was not lying beside her, trying not to think about where he was or who he might be with.

-excerpt from the Prologue of Jane Green’s Spellbound (UK Version) / To Have and to Hold (US Version)

There must be a reason why I have that book, both versions by Author Jane Green.

There must be reason why I bought the book in 2009 but have never read it until summer of 2011.

There must be a reason why I am out of town when I finally got the time and chance to read it, and the resort that I stayed in with a friend (who was in a similar state as Rachel’s) does not have TV or internet connection. Just an intermittent cellular phone signal. I get it now.

Please be informed that this is not a book review and there are no spoiler alerts. Although I recommend buying the book, it cannot be understood fully by many, only those who have worn Rachel’s shoes.

Jane Green’s Spellbound is about the wife Alice and her philandering husband Joe, who’s got a mistress at work named Josie. Alice and Joe moved in to the house where Rachel Danburry used to live with her philandering husband as well and the house was said to have a curse that whoever lives there, the couple breaks up. It just so happen that Alice and Joe moved in that same house.

I would like to cite something from the book about Joe:

“Occasionally Joe feels guilty about the women he sleeps with, but not so guilty as to stop, and anyway they have no bearing on in his relationship with Josie. As long as she doesn’t know, how can it possibly hurt her, for Joe would never want to hurt Josie (the mistress who caused the breakup of his marriage -ed), just as he never wanted to hurt Alice (his first wife -ed).”-   (Green,2003, p. 437, Spellbound)

And to understand the “Joes” in the world is infuriating. They have an addiction, a sickness that will not be cured by just one Josie. 


I admire the strength and sacrifice of those “Rachels” who can turn a blind eye and pretend like nothing is wrong because once a Joe, always a Joe. Those who know that “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” but chose to try to forget and stick around anyway. Never mind if the person lying next to them in the other side of the bed is not really the person they thought they were. Never mind if they really cannot penetrate and knows what goes on in the mind of their own Joes. Never mind if they watch him walk around spaced out. Never mind if they cannot conquer and control their Joe’s mind about who and what he really is thinking about.

But most of all, I admire the “Alices” I know. Those who are brave enough to stand up for their own good, who chose not to be used, who made decisions that are fair for themselves and not out of anger, those who chose to be happy, who chose to be strong.

And to the “Alice” that I know that shared a hand-me-down advice from a pastor who gave her this advice:

“The only problems that you have are the things that you can control. The thing/people/events that you have no control of means that they are not your problem.” 

Dear Another “Alice”,

“Joe” is not your problem because you cannot control him and what he does behind your back. Your problem is how and what you chose to deal with and how you’re going to put up with him.

Your friend in the book,

“Emily”