I was so giddy, feeling that in between coffee breaks and avail time in the BPO industry I might be plucked out of a building by the Universe and eventually become a writer. My article never made it. I got a feedback from the editor: " She's good... but she's young." I was like, What's my age got to do with it?! I really do not understand. And now, approximately nine years later, I know why.
When I was in my twenties, I love the Sex and the City HBO Series. I donned Carrie Bradshaw because she is a writer (my dream) and likes to analyze (like me). My best friend is like Samantha. I haven't watched the series in a long time, like, 5 years and because I missed talking to my best friend, I decided to watch a few episodes of it. And I tell you, now that I am in my thirties, watching them now is a whole lot different experience compared to when I watched it in my twenties.Because when I was in my twenties, all I was able to take was the outfits, the shoes, the boys, sex, discussion, ladies lunching and cosmopolitan. Now that I am in same age bracket as the characters are, I can genuinely relate beyond the facade.
I don't want to gab everything on this post, but there is one episode that caught my eye recently. If you live in the Philippines, it's like a cultural SOP that they ask you when are you getting married, if you have one kid, when are you going to follow it up. If you've got two they ask you if you plan to have more. If you're single, they ask you why? Then comes the unsolicited pairing up, which, honestly I feel very embarrassed about.
Some years ago, a mommy friend of mine asked me to come hang at her place because according to her (and assuming that just because I am single) my weekends are free. In fact her words were "Come hang in my house since you seem like you're doing nothing on weekends". I am understanding enough to know that she probably mean well.
There's this one episode where Miranda and Carrie found themselves in a group of engaged women and asked them if they are seeing someone. Miranda, took over and made fun of herself:
Lady at the party: And what about you, Miranda? Seeing anyone special?
Miranda: Actually no, but I am seeing a whole bunch of unspecial guys. That's one of the requirements to date me, Are you Special? Sorry, move along, But if you have unspecial friends, could you give them my number. I'm serious! Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I can go to dinner with on Saturday night?"
Lady at the party: She's hilarious!
Carrie (to Miranda, next scene): Hey, What the hell was going on in there? Felt like your comedy routine should have a two-drink minimum.
Miranda: We were standing in a group of married or engaged women. Just trying to avoid the pity party.
Carrie: And I thought it was a cocktail party.
Miranda: We were the only single people in there.
Carrie: Miranda. We're the only single people anywhere.
Miranda: Are you telling me you didn't see all those "Don't worry, you'll find someone" looks?
Carrie: Nope, didn't see 'em.
Miranda: Hey. Society views single people our age as sad and pathetic. I don't need that judgement hanging over my head, so I go on the offensive and I make them laugh.
Carrie: Okay Shecky! You know what? Sometimes I think people and couples look at us and wish they had our lives.
Miranda: No, we make them uncomfortable and they don't know what to say.
Carrie: And you're sure you're not overreacting?
Miranda: Yeah!
The next day, on Wall Street: (Miranda ran into a friend)
Miranda: Sheila! Hi! How are you?
Shiela: I'm fantastic! Oh gosh, Joe and l just got back from New Orleans. So how are you? Are you seeing anyone special?
But Miranda wasn't feeling very Shecky.
Miranda: Actually No, I'm not.
Shiela: Well, look, He's out there for you. You just haven't met him yet. right?
Miranda: Maybe, maybe not. I don't know if I believe all that. Maybe there isn't someone for everyone.
There it was: the truth. No Hallmark hope, no two-drink minimum.
Miranda: How is Joe? You guys have been married for how many years now?
Shiela: Five!Miranda: Wow!
Shiela: I bet you're thinking, "Where are the kids?" right? right? Well it's like I said to Joe, "We can have kids or gorgeous fabric without chocolate stains."
Miranda realized it's not just about being single. Everyone has a sore spot that needs a comedy routine.
And so Miranda laughed. Not because it was particularly funny, but because it was kind.
And you know what, recently I've been finding myself in certain "situations", seeing people's sore spots. Some disguise it and then show yours instead. It is true that when people are uncomfortable, they do not know what to say. I will
"She's good, but she's young."So every time I remember that I was asked to write about being single in the city, I still cringe at the memory of it. I was just in my adulthood formative years playground and there I was feeling cocky about becoming a Carrie Bradshaw. Mostly because I remember what I wrote, even the words that I used. The editor was right. I am young. And honestly, I know nothing about what it is like to be single.
But I do now. :)
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