The Grad School Diaries: Episode 26 - April 26

I already graduated last October 31, 2013 and got cleared from the University right before I turned 30 last year. So this graduation march is really just a formality. But, since our office will be covering University Events, might as well attend all the University graduation events such as Chancellor's Night, Testimonial and Recognition Day, Hooding and Recognition Ceremony (for Masters and PhD candidates only) and finally the University Graduation last April 26.

This blog was born out of the desire to get my writing groove back on when I was still studying in graduate school. A photo of me graduating must be in order! (Photo by Kuya Karl) 

One of my relatives, Tita Eves, couldn't make it to my graduation so she watched the live streaming at home, waited for me to be called on stage and took a photo of me getting my certificate on stage. (Honestly, I secretly want to have a photo of me via live streaming, so imagine my delight when someone actually took it for me! Kire lang, I know.)  Thank you Tita Eves for the photo. 

It rained during our graduation march, but I enjoyed it even with all the water splatter. Because, a little rain don't hurt, at least I am finally, formally, receiving my degree! After the march, we were blessed to have a beautiful sunset graduation and fabulous fireworks. I even enjoyed getting the last seat at the back because I get to be relaxed, walk around a little, chat with others, and even have a little picnic of my own. Here is my photo by Paolo Aquino, who kept trying to take candid shots of me, snacking at the back during the announcement of graduates. 

But the cutest surprise of all is I came home to find not one, but two tarpaulin from my High School friends, congratulating me on my graduation. It was so cute, that my mother insisted to have a photo op at the gate of our house when we arrived. (Not the best photo of me guys, but thank you!)

The next day, I wore the exact same dress that I wore during graduation and brought my certificate of completion of my Masteral Degree, just like what I promised Tatay, 39 days after he passed away. 

Now after every milestone, we get asked (or probably we ask ourselves) so what now? Inspired by my friend, Josh, this is now my life verse:

Congratulations to all 2014 graduates! 

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 25 - It's Official!

Today is my Father's birthday. He would've been 63 today.

Last year I had a small lunch treat with my friends and colleagues and also as my mini-celebration treat for my new colleagues. Also last year, we went to Tatay's grave and had car trouble which turned out that our Revo's battery needs to be changed. From then on, we never forget when the car battery was last changed.

Last weekend, I was told that it's no longer proper to celebrate one's birthday once they have passed on. I don't know if it's one of the ridiculous Filipino myths/sayings, but better be safe than sorry.

I usually get adult responsibilities bills in the mail, but this morning, something was personally delivered to me that made me smile.

And very timely since it was my Tatay's birthday and I know this would've made him proud.

Dear Inay and Tatay,

This is for you! It's official! 

Love, 

Kitin 

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 24 - Master's Degree before I turn 30...CHECK!

Submitted, sang, signed and sealed. Master's Degree before I turn thirty? CHECK!

My MS Thesis is titled : 

USE OF FACEBOOK BY A SCIENCE POLITICAL PARTY: A USES AND GRATIFICATION STUDY OF AGHAM PARTY LIST IN THE PHILIPPINES

I blogged before that I have a love and hate relationship with the internet, so I ended up befriending the enemy and make a study out of it. Initially, I was going for the LGBT as subject but then I had to be realistic about my plans and time line of graduating. So after three topic changes, change of advisers, switching of subjects, several drafts and an external review, not to mention blood, sweat and almost tears, I can finally say that I am included in the list of candidates for Graduation! Yey!

I am very grateful because 90% of what I prayed for that is Graduate School- related came true. I would like to give special mention to my adviser, Dr. Serlie Barroga-Jamias for always believing in me and "hard-selling" our self-esteem (hehe).

And also my amazing team of guidance committee: Dr. Benjie Flor, Prof. Teya Tirol and Dr. Mimi Ocampo (Ma'am Mimi, if not for your schedule then I would still be procrastinating my exam schedules. Thank you!)

I would like to write the extended version of my acknowledgment page here in this blog post but I don't want to miss out anyone. My family and friends, you already know who you are. Instead, I would like to post an excerpt of my dedication page from my MS Thesis instead:

DEDICATION

This thesis is dedicated to my late father, Mr. Nicetas Cabrera Araguas (†) , who served in UPLB for a good 35 years of his life - capturing events and history of the University through the lenses of his camera, who, on the 39^th day since his death, visited me in a dream to remind me to finish my MS thesis.

This thesis is also dedicated to my mother, Mrs. Dulce Dalisay Estrellado, whose support and unconditional love enabled me to achieve my dreams.

I now have two of these and God willing, I will have a black one in the future! Bottom: My undergraduate study in 2003; Top: My MS Thesis in 2013

And last but not the least, my savior, my angel, my army, and the one who is in charge of me: Papa  Jesus, who has never forsaken me. You really never fail those who put their trust in Your unfailing love.

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 23 - Avoiding Murphy's Law while doing my MS Thesis

My laptop is an old compaq presario. My sister asked their IT guys to check it during the times that it needs to be reformatted and they were amazed that my laptop is still working compared to its laptop batch mates (laptop of the same model).

My laptop has endured wear and tear. Since last year:

• It's battery is not functional so it needs to be plugged in directly to the power outlet. 
• It's screen case has a crack that I didn't even notice.
• The display driver keeps on shutting down and recovers itself right after.

It still works fine, until one weekend, I was typing something on my laptop when it just shut down that I had to restart again. It happened again while my sister was using it, which means it might conk out soon and this time, for good. 

I prayed really hard for my 4 year old laptop to not to conk out on me while I was doing my thesis. I asked my laptop to let me graduate first before finally retiring.  I saw this on the net and it reminded me what my desktop looked like while I was writing my thesis:

I was told that having this messy desktop slows down my laptop but I couldn't really keep it clean. Until one day, I saw on Facebook a horror story of someone's laptop with his dissertation on it and it got stolen with all his drafts and research data.

So, to avoid Murphy's law while writing my thesis, here's what I did:

1. Save the document (word format) and email it to my three email addresses for safekeeping. (What a freak, I know)
2. Saved in 2 USBs.
3. Saved in Drive D and Drive C of the laptop.
4. Back up in my office computer.
5. Create a new gmail account and save my working drafts in "Google Drive".

Better safe than sorry.

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 22 -I did not get published on my first try and I know why

In 2010, our class produced a special edition of a refereed journal. If you are in the academe, and also in my case as a REPS in the university, it is a big deal.

You see, I don't really think about it so much, thinking I will be practicing in a different industry anyway. I have been very honest to myself and to all the friends that I made that I pursued Graduate School out of a whim and to cure my quarter-life crisis. I even remember telling my friend Faye, that I would just stay one semester and go back in the game (and by game I meant career in the city). I guess I was wrong because I am now in my 5th semester and working in the university.

Anyway, the thought of getting published excites me, thinking, wow I must be really lucky that my class is sponsoring it when I heard (back in 2010) that people had to submit to Call for Papers announcement, hoping to get in. But this opportunity to get published is (I thought) within my reach. But then, to make the story short, my so-called article was whipped into rejection. Even though it wasn't really much of a big deal to me back then, it did sting.

My friend, whose paper got in on a first try, (and got her travelling almost effortlessly to Hawaii for a presentation of the paper) explained to me that certain publications have certain themes, like apart from the fact that a research may probably not be good enough, maybe it also just happen that my paper did not match the theme that the journal is going for. I did not really understand the full grasp of it, until three years later when the actual journal came out, I finally understood that maybe it's not just me, it's the journal and well, yeah a little bit of me because the paper that I wrote don't really go well with the theme. And also with all honesty, my writing back then is not good enough for journal standards. Come on, I don't even have any idea about the big deal behind the words "publication" "refereed" "journal" "article" and "paper presentation". My heart in writing was not really in it, so actually, I should not be surprised that I didn't get in. The paper felt like "blah". It is only been a couple of years later that I understood and decided that I want to write, I want to learn how to do technical writing and eventually be good at it and write a qualitative research paper properly. I still have a lot to learn so I don't mind getting my articles heavily edited. In fact, I am actually grateful that someone did take the time to read it and point out what would've been better.

It is always the first rejection that cuts the deepest, but after that, it becomes bearable. My friend and I were talking over coffee over a week ago that it is better to try than not being able to try at all. I got rejected on a first try, but I learned a lot from that rejection.

And also, maybe this also comes with age and maturity, that more than a year ago, I managed to stop beating myself up when things did not go as what I wished it to be. There will always be someone better than me/us, and at the end of the day, it's not really your classmate, your friend, or your colleague that you are up against with. It is with our own self.

So, to my friends who made it in this special edition journal, congratulations! :)

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 21 - When you simply cannot write no matter what you do

I am surprised to find out that I do have blog readers also working on their thesis. From a previous answer post to a reader's comment, I got another one:

I'm a first time commenter, long time reader of your diaries. It's nice to know that I'm not alone with my thesis troubles. My jaw dropped when I saw your drafts. I'm nowhere even near your progress. I'd love to have a blog like yours but I simply don't have the time to do that. Ironically I still have time to comment on blogs (silly me). Any advice for someone who just can't get focused enough on thesis writing? - Amy Lounsbury

Dear Amy,

Thank you for your message Amy! Sorry it took so long for me to reply. To be honest, I started this blog to get my writing groove back on. I stopped blogging in 2009 then went back again in late 2010. I don't have problems writing in my blog but I have a hard time writing an academic paper. I used this blog to make my fingers move and get used to writing. I believe that it somehow helped, at least with the part of getting used to actual typing.

I wish I could tell you useful tips on how to be focused enough on thesis writing, but I believe we all come with our own individual manuals. I even came to the point where I lost my writing mojo and my data were just sitting on my desk for a really long time that it almost turned to waste. But, I will share some tips that I got from my friends in graduate school:

1. Make a time line with a list of task and reward yourself when the job is done. For example, until you finish writing your Chapter 4, you will not go to a spa, or any place you usually go to for leisure.

2. If number 1 don't work for you, try to write at least one to two pages per day.

3. Find a motivator. I know easier said than done, but in my case, I told my self if I keep procrastinating, I will undergo the same amount of time and energy in dealing with signing of papers, enrollment, endorsements and all the hassle of paper works for next semester.

4. Plan a really good event, like a good vacation that you cannot cancel and will always look forward to, and make it your reward for writing your thesis. So you won't have to feel guilty if you splurge on your vacay, at least your thesis is done.

5. This one is crazy, but cramming gives the ultimate jolt. I work as a writer and event planner while doing my thesis in graduate school on the side. For some magical reason, I was able to discipline myself in time management if I know I have very little time in between to write. I know it may not usually work for others but it's worth a try.

I haven't got the final approval of my final draft so I am pretty much on my toes waiting for the results. Thank you and I hope I was able to be of help even just a little. Good luck to our thesis/papers!


Best,
Kea

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 19 - Rough Drafts

 Today, I got this on my blog in a comment form from a previous post :

"So, what happened, Kae? Did you already finish your thesis and already got your degree? Writing MA thesis and phd dissertation can really be hard, but it shouldn't be a problem if people are really dedicated on what they are doing. Anyway, do hope everything went well with your plan."

I have not been updating my grad school diaries, because, as much as I want to blog, I have to get my sh*t together and write my thesis, properly and for real. This photo is not even 1/8 of the number of drafts that I have at home. Some were misplaced in other parts of the house, but they are there. I know.

After four topic changes, seven drafts, not to mention revisions on the sides, finally today, I will hand over my manuscript to an external reviewer for a blind review. No dancing yet, I have yet to write another journal article based on the recommendations from my guidance committee and external reviewer.

I have to admit that it is only lately that I have been really dedicated to finish the manuscript because:

• I want to be able to start reading other stuff (read: chick literature) other than my thesis literature. 
• I want to have my degree before my birthday this year.
• I want to fully concentrate on other stuff that I have at work that needs writing.
• I want to start my other planned extra curricular activities post-work shift without having to worry for revisions and deadlines at the back of my mind.

So dear Ms. Eastwood (who left the comment on my blog): Thank you reminding me to update this section of my blog and yes, I am also hoping that everything will go well with my plan.

I am getting there. :)

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 17 - When all you want is a PUSH, you get a SHOVE instead

Honestly, I wouldn't recommend graduate school to those who just wants a breather out of whatever world they are in. While others take it from compliance, I took it out of a whim.

Grad school takes a lot of discipline. I have found a whole new respect for those who are working and are parents while trying to get the degree. It's no joke. It's confusing also because you have all the time, but you can't find the time. You have the freedom but then you're still chained.

Now I'm on my third year, and I have lost my mojo for a couple of months. It was a big deal because I couldn't write, I have the data but I couldn't write. It wasn't even mental block. I prayed really hard for a PUSH, for me to start and get my groove on.

But Papa Jesus knows better, he gave me a SHOVE.

It has always been on top of my prayers (after all the that truly mattered) and I really want it because I feel I owe a lot to this degree. It picked up me up when I was broken. Amazing, how you think you can't start and you have no idea how to start. If you pray for it, God will put you in circumstance to get you back on track.

And now I'm back on track.
With pressure.
And time is running fast.

You know that feeling when you think that you wanted your schedule to be just spread out and  plan everything carefully?  It's not really happening in real-graduate school life. Sometimes, I'd like to think I wasted time putting my writing on hold, because some thing always comes up (wedding planning for others, parties, holidays, personal matters, and I could really go on).  But if I forced  it, I don't think I would be able to write because my realizations weren't developed yet. It's like I'm pregnant with an idea and I really want to pop out but I can't because it hasn't reached a full 9 months. I don't know how I managed the time to write this little piece when my mind is cramming like crazy.


And I'll be very busy. I'll be cramming when I really hate to cram.



So now I've been SHOVED.

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 16 - Sometimes you come to a party only to be jolted back to thesis writing

Trust me. I have no problems when it comes to saying NO now to parties but when The Mother plays that "I'm-alone-I-don't-have-a-driver" card, I have no choice but to get my ass back to the driver's seat and be my mother's plus one.

I attended a Christmas party last year, thinking I'd probably amuse my self by watching the ladies shake their booties for a dance number contest where my mother is one of the judges. We came in late, sat on the table for the guest judges, when my mom's friend, a professor in the university where I study and where I am currently working, asked me across the table:

"How's your thesis going?"

"I'm data gathering, Tita". I answered. Not really. There's data, I need to gather. 

But heck, it's the holidays so let me enjoy this nice cold weather while eating M&Ms and watching Friends on DVD.

"Good" she said. "Because you're only allowed 3 residencies and a summer to work on it, that is after you've finished your thesis units. Otherwise you will receive a failing mark and will have to repeat the entire thing all over again."

And with that statement alone, in the middle of hips shaking, loud music,  people laughing... I panicked right on the spot. 

Few days after that thesis panic attack, I spent the next two days engaged in my laptop, screencapping like crazy for my thesis. Come January, I showed my data that I gathered to my adviser and received a promising go signal. "You are ready to write".

Any writer will tell you, that the hardest part of writing is the start of writing. I cannot say I can't write because, here I am blogging once again when I thought this blog is taking a back seat this year, but NO.

I've been planning to have an exercise regimen this year, but with my new job and schedule, NO.  

I'm running after a deadline. The little ADHD girl in me wants to finish my thesis and get my MS Degree so I can start on another adventure that I've been planning ages ago.

I guess this is me, again, hopefully NOT for the entire year. Unless I manage to get my guy friends who always kidnap me for a lunch/hang out  to come jog with me.

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 15 - It's that time of the semester again

Oh dear.

It's that time again. The enrollment season. I should be done with my thesis and earned my Master's degree after having passed the compre exam that everyone's dreading about, but here I am with Episode 15 of Graduate School Diaries.

I am enrolling again this semester because I have not finished my MS Thesis.

I wanted to come up with the universal weapon reason for mass destruction bullshit: I got busy. But really, it's for real:

1. My kuya got married and we flew to Kalinga.
2. I was busy covering/working for the College Centennial Celebration.
3. I was busy planning and actually doing something for my plan B, or my longer-term plan to be in the university.
 Okay fine, here's another one:
4. I'm busy planning my super friends' bohemian hippie wedding that I really like to doing it for my favorite couple because it pumps my blood up and keeps me alive. (Plus I really love the couple).

But wait. I really have to get my degree this semester because I got my eyes set on a bigger adventure by next year.

#crossingfingers

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 13 - Rappler.Com at UPLB

Pardon the lazy blogger in me. I’ve been so busy this week and I am trying to squeeze in this little post before I head of to my next appointment. Oh yes, this week will be the start of the many busy weeks of my life this year.

Anyway, last Wednesday, Rappler came to UPLB. As the secretary of DevCom Graduate Students Association, I am required to attend, participate and involve myself in planning. Good thing, our President, Derek, is a full-time student, he was the one who really organized almost the whole thing, together with UPLB’s Office of Public Relations (OPR).

Anyone who is obsessed into social media (ehem!) knows what Rappler is. For those who don’t:, here's an excerpt from Rappler's Bio from the official website:

Welcome to Rappler, a social news network where stories inspire community engagement and digitally fuelled actions for social change. Rappler comes from the root words "rap" (to discuss) + "ripple" (to make waves). It's a new world of limitless collaboration enabled by new technology and connected by social media.
We at Rappler promise uncompromised journalism that - hopefully - inspires smart conversations and ignites a thirst for change.
We are veteran journalists trained in broadcast, print and web disciplines working with young, idealistic digital natives eager to report and find solutions to problems. We are web artists, designers, publishers and professionals combining the best of broadcasting and IT processes.
We won’t be complete without YOU.
Technology now allows us to work in ways never before possible to create connected communities and to tap “the wisdom of crowds,” the process of harnessing a group's collective answer which, under the right conditions, have proven to be better than any single expert opinion.
To help set up these conditions, we began nationwide workshops with our Move.PH chat series. In the age when everyone is a reporter, it’s good to discuss standards, responsibilities and ethics. Our journalists are running workshops and engaging the public in ways we have rarely done before.

So here we are at 10 in the morning preparing for the event at 1pm: 

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 12 - The much awaited Food Festival

The Development Communication 215 class  for Communication and Culture regularly holds an annual food festival where they invite guests to feast on food from different countries. We were told that it's the much awaited Devcom event because of free food, haha.  Last first semester 2010, our class in Devcom 215 Communication and Culture was not able to hold the much-awaited "food festival" because we did not foreigner classmates to share cultures with. We had a paper presentation with lots of food instead.

I have no more lecture classes this semester so it means I won't be attending any classroom sessions this semester. But my friend Aya took the class Devcom 215 and to show our support, we attended the food festival as her guests.

 The buffet set up:

 I like how some of their classmates were dressed up in their national costumers according to their countries.

Here's Minji (korean) and her co-host (sorry I forgot his name) dressed in their traditional costume. They even presented a short skit and gave us the information about Korean food complete with demo. I feel like I'm one of the front row audiences of a cooking show.

And here's my friend Aya, serving food while dressed as Ms. Philippines-on-the-go:

 My former classmates in Devcom 215 and friends, Yeye and Theia:

Usually food fests are held every Saturday but this year they had it on a Thursday. Too bad I was not able to join the FGD (Focus Group Discussion) because I had to leave during the presentation because of work. I was only gone for 2 hours and worked piled up faster than you can say Kimchi.

Thank you Aya for the invite and congratualtions 215 class of 2012 for the successful food festival! :)

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 11 - Tatay would've been so proud

Last week, I took a day off work to study. Like for real. The Friday morning was spent reading notes, by afternoon of 1pm, I went to Baker Hall to give the stuff for donation for last week's monsoon that I wrote about. Expect no pictures of me donating stuff. Things like that are just not for display.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the Friday trying to relax. God knows I hardly know how to relax nowadays. My Blood Pressure is on borderline from all the stress (seriously) of my upcoming FINAL Oral major examination for graduate school.

I had  a pedicure, read my notes, ordered a club sandwich that I don't know how I was able to eat it alone and concentrated on my checklist. 

Monday, August 13 is the big day. I woke up at 5am and within 6:30 am I am already 5 minutes away from the college building for my 9am Examination.

I can hardly remember the last time I really felt this nervous. The night before the exam, I was sneezing all throughout the day and coughing. I am afraid to get sick because I really want to get this over and done with. I really don't want to go through these jitters once again.

I realized that I really just want to do this once, and even if I crammed the hell out, I really will just put up a big fight. I will not go down without a fight.

By 11am I was told that I passed the UP Graduate School Compre Exam! Forgive my ecstatic state of having the urge to really blog this. I was secretly telling myself that I do not want to be a statistic in failing and that I will only take this exam once. In UPLB Graduate School, you get to have a second chance but if you flunk again this time you're out.

Even if people keep on telling me that I will be just fine and that I will make it ,of course, at the end of the day, it’s still a battle with my self and I don’t want to be too complacent. I want to earn it fair and square.

God knows how much tears I’ve cried over anxiety and fear and how many tea light candles that I lit up because I really want to pass this so bad. Not really for me, but for my Tatay (Dad) who passed away last June 5. On the 39th day since he died, he spoke to me in my dreams telling me to finish my Master’s Degree. He must have felt that it doesn’t matter to me as much as before that’s why I was not really preparing for it even if I enrolled my self this semester.  

The last time I took an eligibility exam, I flunked. I remember calling my mom’s number to vent out that I ended up calling my father’s number. Then, unexpectedly, I broke down, crying uncontrollably over the phone. It was his first time to hear me get upset and cry over an exam (he always thought I am too happy go lucky).  He was the one who told me to pull my self together and I can always take it a hundred times. I did not go through taking the exam again.  This compre exam is the next, if not major exam, that I’ve taken since my thesis defense back in 2003, when I was still in college.

When I finally got it, I was expecting myself to be over the moon. I'm happy I made my parents very happy.  I know tatay must be really proud of me and I know I made him happy,  but it’s just isn’t the same as having the chance to see my father’s face once again when I tell him that I passed my exam on a first try.

The Grad School Diaries: Episode 10 - Even the cards says it so

Unlike majority of my friends in graduate school, I went to graduate school out of a whim. I used to reason out that it’s probably to cure my quarter-life crisis, take a break from city life, figure out and decide what I want to do in life while getting additional education, nurse a broken heart and so on. Two years later, I finally know why I moved back.

I always say that I owe graduate school so much. And even though I only took it out of a whim ( because majority of the people I know wanted to get the degree to get promoted), I found my self drawn to it.  Right now, I really want to earn it and finish the degree, because I feel that, after the personal turmoils that I’ve encountered this past few months, it’s one of the only thing that I can call my own. It gives me a sense of ownership that as much as I want to get the degree, I also want to stay. I like being a student. I like juggling work and school, I like rushing to school and attend classes, see and meet new friends.  Everything that I did not do while I was still in college I was able to do it in graduate school. I never wanted to be in a school newspaper in college, before I knew it, I was the culture editor of UPLB Perspective last year. I don’t like being one of the class officers because I like having my own life, before I knew it, I am already the secretary of a graduate school association.

Lots of things are happening beyond my control. Being in graduate school taught me how to be patient and how to let go and let things fall right into place. My journey from the time that I got my letter of admission to graduate school two years ago until now is a clear proof of how if you will only let God, he will take care of you because he knows better.